Claustrophobia in the Caves

The ground of fearlessness is fear. In order to be fearless, you have to stand in the middle of your fear.

Larry Rosenberg

the metal door slams.

I’m trapped.

the walls are close

the steps are narrow

so many people

so little air

so far

down

we go

so deep

earth

pressing

in

on

me

the guide turns out the lights to tell us how this section of the cave was discovered

i stay behind the rest of the group, a shadow of fear

I feel myself lightening up a little as the cave widens, and I know the exit is not far

a stalactite chandelier in the Frozen Niagra

Smile, breathe and go slowly.

Nhat Hanh

From the safe distance of a few days, several hundred miles and a bit of perspective, my claustrophobic panic in the Mammoth Cave seems like a bad dream. I have made somewhat of a joke of this fear I have of being trapped, but this two hour tour in Mammoth Cave National Park, called Domes and Dripstones, made me realize how bad my claustrophobia has really become. I made it through the cave tour and was even feeling pretty light at the end, when I knew my exit was near - but I’ve had a residual feeling of panic and resistance afterward. I think it’s time I learn to face this. I understand now that I’m not only afraid of being trapped, but I’m afraid of the panic I experience when feeling trapped. I am afraid of my fear. I can only see that getting worse if I don’t work with it. Do you have any “irrational” fears? Do you have any ideas about how to work with them? I’d love to hear what you think.

Hope you have a great weekend. See you next week!

My last morning at Mammoth Cave it rained, and then a fog blanketed everything.

What Lies beneath

Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom.

Thomas Carlyle

An Array of Mushrooms

I looked for mushrooms in the woods behind my house one day after listening to a Hidden Brain podcast about slowing down. They were everywhere - and then I learned some things I didn’t know.

They seem to appear overnight, but the mushrooms we see are only part of much bigger, much older structures. They are the reproductive fruit of a network of mycelia living underneath the earth, a system of branches and threads spanning far beyond the part we see.

They feed on wood and leaf, living and dead. (Here it’s like a forest within a forest, of mushroom and moss)

They are abundant (Shelves on a dead log)

They can be Seemingly Solitary.

They can step into a tale (Amanita Muscaria - the mushroom from Alice in Wonderland)

They can be delicate and beautiful ( Crown-tipped Corral Mushroom among leaves, shelves and moss)

They can be shy

“Nobody sees us,
Stops us, betrays us;
The small grains make room.

Soft fists insist on
Heaving the needles,
The leafy bedding…”

From Sylvia Plath’s “Mushrooms” poem

They can stand together like a tiny army

“We shall by morning
Inherit the earth.
Our foot's in the door.”

from Sylvia Plath’s “Mushrooms” poem

My curiosity has been piqued by the reading I’ve done this week about mushrooms. I think I will be returning to this again in the future. I used some lines from my favorite poem about mushrooms by Sylvia Plath. To read the whole poem, and a great article about how it relates to the scientific truth about mushrooms, click here.

Thank you so much for being here! I will see you next week!