October Sweetness

Lord, it is time. The summer was very big. Lay thy shadow on the sundials, and on the meadows let the winds go loose. Command the last fruits that they shall be full; give them another two more southerly days, press them on to fulfillment and drive the last sweetness into the heavenly wine.

Rainer Maria Rilke

View from inside a small cave in Missouri at Meramec State Park

October

Old the year grows,

Casting aside her green cloak,

Twirling in lingering twilight -

Offering her final fruits.

Blustering winds bend her limbs,

Enervating darkness calls her to sleep-

Rocking her bones into winter deep.

Hundreds of white pelicans and cormorants traveling together in Oklahoma

A broken tree cradles the moon at Sequoyah State Park in Oklahoma

Wheat tips bending toward the sun in Texas

Ariadne, the banded garden spider, basking in the light of the rising sun in Azle, Texas

The hunter’s moon descends beneath the trees in Texas

Leaves and twig reflecting in a still pond in Pier Cove, Michigan

Milkweed letting go of her feathery offspring 

Autumn Glory of Ox-Bow and lake Michigan beyond from the Crow’s Nest Trail in Saugatuck

A few feathers wave good-bye to the sun and October on the Lake Michigan Shore in Fennville

What I really want from Music: That it be cheerful and profound like an afternoon in October.

Friedrich Nietzsche

October is a month for classical music. For running into a gale force wind. For flying kites and watching scary movies and eating popcorn by the fire. It is one of my favorite months for the colors and the smells and the winds of change.

This October turned into a beautiful but busy month of travel and events and my intention of blogging twice turned into not even once; well as I write it’s still October, Halloween, in fact, but you won’t receive this until November 1st.

I hope your October was as amazing as mine. The unusually warm weather made it possible to be outdoors so much more than usual, and I got to visit my family in Texas which always makes me happy.

Thank you so much for being here! I will see you in two weeks. Really!! 😊

A Halloween treat for the squirrels - carved heirloom pumpkin 

Claustrophobia in the Caves

The ground of fearlessness is fear. In order to be fearless, you have to stand in the middle of your fear.

Larry Rosenberg

the metal door slams.

I’m trapped.

the walls are close

the steps are narrow

so many people

so little air

so far

down

we go

so deep

earth

pressing

in

on

me

the guide turns out the lights to tell us how this section of the cave was discovered

i stay behind the rest of the group, a shadow of fear

I feel myself lightening up a little as the cave widens, and I know the exit is not far

a stalactite chandelier in the Frozen Niagra

Smile, breathe and go slowly.

Nhat Hanh

From the safe distance of a few days, several hundred miles and a bit of perspective, my claustrophobic panic in the Mammoth Cave seems like a bad dream. I have made somewhat of a joke of this fear I have of being trapped, but this two hour tour in Mammoth Cave National Park, called Domes and Dripstones, made me realize how bad my claustrophobia has really become. I made it through the cave tour and was even feeling pretty light at the end, when I knew my exit was near - but I’ve had a residual feeling of panic and resistance afterward. I think it’s time I learn to face this. I understand now that I’m not only afraid of being trapped, but I’m afraid of the panic I experience when feeling trapped. I am afraid of my fear. I can only see that getting worse if I don’t work with it. Do you have any “irrational” fears? Do you have any ideas about how to work with them? I’d love to hear what you think.

Hope you have a great weekend. See you next week!

My last morning at Mammoth Cave it rained, and then a fog blanketed everything.