The ground of fearlessness is fear. In order to be fearless, you have to stand in the middle of your fear.
Larry Rosenberg
the metal door slams.
I’m trapped.
the walls are close
the steps are narrow
so many people
so little air
so far
down
we go
so deep
earth
pressing
in
on
me
the guide turns out the lights to tell us how this section of the cave was discovered
i stay behind the rest of the group, a shadow of fear
I feel myself lightening up a little as the cave widens, and I know the exit is not far
a stalactite chandelier in the Frozen Niagra
Smile, breathe and go slowly.
Nhat Hanh
From the safe distance of a few days, several hundred miles and a bit of perspective, my claustrophobic panic in the Mammoth Cave seems like a bad dream. I have made somewhat of a joke of this fear I have of being trapped, but this two hour tour in Mammoth Cave National Park, called Domes and Dripstones, made me realize how bad my claustrophobia has really become. I made it through the cave tour and was even feeling pretty light at the end, when I knew my exit was near - but I’ve had a residual feeling of panic and resistance afterward. I think it’s time I learn to face this. I understand now that I’m not only afraid of being trapped, but I’m afraid of the panic I experience when feeling trapped. I am afraid of my fear. I can only see that getting worse if I don’t work with it. Do you have any “irrational” fears? Do you have any ideas about how to work with them? I’d love to hear what you think.
Hope you have a great weekend. See you next week!
My last morning at Mammoth Cave it rained, and then a fog blanketed everything.
